Two passages:
“He sat at the kitchen table drinking coffee. He’d have to
go out sooner or later.”
“He sat at the stainless steel kitchen table, chosen by his
ex-wife and left behind when she moved on, drinking the last of the espresso.
He’d have to go out into the cold sooner or later.”
Which passage makes you think you can see the scene? Which
one draws you to read on? If I’m not badly mistaken, it’s the second. The old
adage is that “the devil is in the details.” But the angel is also in the
details. In other words, it’s all about the details.
I’m working on a thriller with a pretty good premise. At
2,000 words a day, it’s humming along. But I hate it. Everyone within earshot
has heard me whining about it. If you haven’t heard me, it’s because you
haven’t been listening.
The thing is, this is a first draft—what I’m calling a
“plot” first draft. It’s one scene after another of who is doing what to whom.
Most of the “where” is vague. “Somewhere in Los Angeles.” Somewhere” in Kabul.
A few of the characters have made themselves known, but I haven’t bothered to
describe them or to describe much of the “place,” where the action is
happening. I sometimes mention a polished marble floor here, or a desk there,
or a quick glimpse out a window. But that’s about it. And I know that’s why I’m
not enjoying the book—because I’m leaving out the details.
In the two passages above, by the end of the first one, you
have no idea what “he” looks like or what his “place” is in life. All you know
is that he has a table, he drinks coffee, and he has to go out before long. At
the end of the second one, you know he’s divorced, and he’s down to his last
cappuccino. You also know that he has, or has had, money—to buy the steel
table, the cappuccino machine. You know that he let his wife choose the
table—does that mean he doesn’t care about furniture? Or that his wife was
strong-willed? Or that she was a decorator? You know it’s cold outside and that
he hasn’t been out for a while, which may give you some indication of the mood
of the story.
I’ve read some manuscripts and even some published books
that suffer from the issues that the first passage has. Not that every piece of
furniture in a room has to be described, or that every detail of a person’s
face has to be described, or that the number of steps leading up to a house has
to included. What does have to be included is the “telling” details—the details
that indicate something about the character in the scene. So if the point of
view character is tied to chair in a strange room, yes he’ll likely look at
every single item visible in the room, and we’ll want to know that. If the
protagonist is looking at a loved one for the last time, the reader will want
to see every detail of that loved person’s face. If your protagonist is walking
up to a house he doesn’t want to enter, he might very well count every step.
My point is that it’s the details that make a story worth
reading—details that matter. When the details aren’t there, it’s the devil.
When they are, it’s the angel.
4 comments:
Great blog, and I agree, but I'm one who is turned off by TOO MANY details. Your word "telling" is the operative word for me. Details have to mean something, or else they're just words taking up space on the page. One bestselling author describes every bit of clothing of every new character. I don't care what some peripheral character is wearing down to his socks. I just don't. Make description count. This post was a good reminder because I'm on the fourth book of my series, and I am assuming everyone who will read this knows what my characters look like. They might not, so it's a good reminder to go back in and flesh them out. Thanks. :-)
Polly, I once read a Robert B. Parker "Stone" novel and only realized halfway through that he never described any major character--only the minor ones, and then only a stroke or two. He "showed" us his characters by oblique means. It's really important to me not to waste word on unnecessary description. If it's described, it had better be important.
It really bothers me when there are too few details--especially when I don't even know what the characters look like. It's true, some authors go to the extreme with extraneous details, but when there aren't enough for my taste, I end up with an empty feeling about what I've read.
Exactly, Margie. It think what we're talking about here is that getting it right is hard! Too many details and it gets tedious--not enough and you're left wanting.
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